Losing your job can have a devastating effect on your self-esteem. But while being made redundant is out of your control, the way you choose to respond is not. In this article, we share ways to help undo negative thought patterns in order to increase our self-esteem and confidence.

Self confidence is something many people struggle with, and can be destructive, getting in the way of many areas of our lives. However, there are things we can do to help undo those negative thought patterns and increase our self-esteem and confidence.

What is self confidence? Self confidence is our ability to believe in ourselves, which means not only know what we can do but to be just fine with knowing what we can’t do. Self confidence is not about being perfect, it’s about being comfortable with who we are, warts and all! It’s about making choices that are right for us, rather than to make someone else happy. Self confidence is often confused with over confidence. The aim is for an even balance – knowing what is right for us rather than believing we can rule the world by tomorrow or that we can’t do anything at all.

Where does self-confidence come from? As children, we learn our confidence from those people around us – parents, teachers, school etc – and although we don’t realise it, we soak up feedback, however subtle. Sometimes, we have managed to hear only the negative comments, or we didn’t have much in the way of positive encouragement or praise. Maybe, someone in our past said something negative that really hurt, or couldn’t see our potential. There are loads of reasons why we might go on in life with little or low self-confidence, understanding why is only a part of building our confidence to a point where we feel happier with ourselves, our lives and our abilities.

The good news is that we can change this habitual way of thinking about ourselves, and improve our confidence and self esteem. Here are a few suggestions that I hope you find helpful.

Some ways of building self confidence You might want to evaluate your confidence before you do any of the suggestions below, this will help give you some idea of what you want to achieve, By redoing the first set of statements every so often, you can track your progress-and congratulate yourself on it. You can evaluate your current situation and your goals do by scoring yourself out of 10 for the following and can also add your own ideas to the list:

How I am now I enjoy new challenges I like meeting new people I like meeting people I know I am not afraid of saying ‘no’ I am no afraid of admitting a mistake I am not afraid to asking for help

You could then see where you would like to be in the future: I would like to be able to enjoy new challenges enjoy meet new people enjoy meeting people I know be able to say ‘no’ admit a mistake be able to ask for help